Weight Loss Basics - Shame

Berta Prevosti

   There is something that we don't talk about; we don't talk about it because it's a secret. It's one that we all have. Some of us have quieted it down, and some of us think it's a dark secret that we can't admit to a soul, even to ourselves.

    It's what we do after working so hard to follow a regular regime of food and exercise. When everything is going great-until it isn't. That's the tricky part. You see, we don't even know when the thought will creep up. The thing is, it always does, and, on some level, it always will. What am I talking about? You know. I'm talking about THE BINGE. Such a silly word for something so destructive: the violent flogging of our very selves, the selves we think we hate. We do it alone, in secret, in the dark, so that no one will ever know. But we know. It's our shame, our dark little secret. We lie about it to everyone, especially to ourselves.


  You know what I mean because you've done it, too. Sure, you'll tell everyone how well you eat, how you can't explain why you're not losing weight. "Maybe it's my thyroid," you'll say, "because I eat very well and not very much!" And everyone will sympathize and believe you, as well, because they see what you eat: the salads, the veggies, the fruits, and never dessert, right? Ah, but they don't see what happens after the door closes, when no one is around. The Binge. And then we lie again. "I will be there when the gym opens tomorrow, no matter what," we promise ourselves.

Lies. Sad, sad, lies.

  Why would I speak of something that is so very difficult for you to talk about and for me to explain? Well, if we keep this secret deep inside of ourselves, it will stay right there, continuing to damage us as it has in the past. Do you think you are weak? Do you think no one will understand? Do you think you will be judged, ridiculed, and shamed? Are you afraid that if you look at it and speak of it aloud, then it will become real? It is already real. You know it is because you do it, and I will tell you this: you are not alone. Many people bury this dark secret, but there are ways to deal with it, and many of us have been able to deal with it by taking it into the light. We have found ways to deal with the pain, the sorrow, the solitude, and whatever else, by bringing it into the light. And when the secret is out, it no longer adds to our pain.

  One remedy is to let others in. Let the people who love you into your world. Start by telling someone the secret, or if that is too difficult to do then do me a favor: before you sit down all by yourself to throw yourself away, take a moment to think about what it is you're feeling. I can guarantee you it's not hunger, but something deeper. Take a moment before you take that dive, and ask yourself what is hurting. If you can't tell someone, write it down in a letter to yourself. Then you can look at it clearly. At least it will no longer be a secret you keep from yourself. Write it down and keep writing until you don't have to keep hurting yourself, so that you don't have to eat and eat and eat until it hurts more than the pain you are feeling inside.

  When you start to do this, to express yourself, to allow yourself to feel what it is you're really feeling, you will see that it's not hunger. Is it perhaps sadness? Despair? Fear? All of the above? Yes. It's pain. That pain is the reason you have the problem you have now, the reason you find yourself reading this. I understand, and I know that what you need is more than a list of foods that you should eat to lose weight. I can and will give that to you, but first, you need to have the strength, the conviction, to look within and own your feelings. Even if you do choose to self-destruct this time, the next time, at least, you might be able to name it and see it for what it is.
  
  You see; you and I are no different. I have been where you are, and so have my clients. Many of us have crossed over and brought our pain to the light, but please know that even now I sometimes feel the sadness creeping up on me. However, I now know how to let myself feel and accept that it will happen again: we are human, and sadness is part of the human experience. Allow yourself to feel it, own it, and then love yourself, and hold your head up high with pride, with beauty, and with strength.

You can do this, we all can.

  Berta Prevosti is a weight loss counselor known for transforming the lives of overweight women who have previously given up on losing weight. Over the past 7 years she has counseled hundreds of women losing thousands of pounds using emotional support and healthy common sense methods.

  Berta translates her spiritual and holistic passion and background as a reiki master and yoga instructor to strengthen her ability to understand the emotional components that sabotage weight loss for each client personally. She backs this up with accountability requirements for eating in a new way that benefits the body as a whole. This combination was first placed in practice on her business partner, who after losing (and maintaining) 100 pounds joined her company. These two women, single mothers of 5 boys understand the overwhelming challenges that women face managing family, home, work and (last, but not least) their own goals.

  Berta has seen over 50 clients a week for half a decade. Her expertise has grown to such a point that she can articulate points in a way that she hears at least weekly "I never had it explained to me that way - it all makes sense now". At her clients requests, and as a result of her growing waiting list, she is shifting her practice to the Internet to share her transformations and help more women reclaim the lives and dreams they had given up on.


 

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